Rihannamo Bay

Rihanna is without question one of the most boring and uninspired entertainers in recent memory. She is so bland in fact that she must resort to copying other musicians (did you see the "Rude Boy" video, starring M.I.A.?) and deflated attempts at shock value. Her newest thing is that she's really "tough," which translates to "wears a lot of military fashion, most of which is ripped off from Lady Gaga videos."

I have a few problems with Rihanna's style, beyond just the idiocy of the garments themselves.

1. She's in a vaguely Arab location. Iraq? Afghanistan? Doesn't really matter. In Rhiannaland, war is an abstract concept that doesn't exist in actuality. Maybe there are major combat operations, to use a phrase, happening somewhere in the Middle East. Perhaps several thousand men and women will be shipped there in the coming months. But why dwell on these details? Just tell the set dresser to make the environment look generally threatening and non-American.


2. She behaves like a take-charge female who can intimidate and order around soldiers, but only because she's not wearing pants/covered in mud. I'm all for women being sexy and in charge and kicking ass while barely dressed. Own your sexuality and all of that, that's great. But Rihanna playing Army Barbie looks so comical that it doesn't really project any positive messages. She looks a little too desperate and attention-starved to be role modeling strong, tough girl attitude. I'm also fairly certain that Rihanna and other military fashion offenders are the reason why women and gays are not taken seriously in the armed forces. America's top generals are horrified at the thought of glitter uniforms and Sex and the City-style conversations about feelings. (By the way, I love the phallic tank symbolism.)

3. She non-ironically compares her love life to a military prison or internment camp. This is where I stop getting annoyed and start getting offended. Who the hell is Rihanna's art director, and why have they not been fired yet? I'll admit, I can sometimes be a bit much for the political correctness, but it's difficult to not see this as insulting. We're living in a climate of political torture and war, and to make light of those issues is ignorant and degrading. This is a post-Holocaust, post-Abu Ghriab, post-Guantanamo era, and this is real. It's happening all the time, and it's not sexy. It's not theatrical. It's certainly not appropriate for a pop music video. Same goes for all the runway designers who choose "military" or "war prisoner" as the theme for their collections.